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"Ya Know, The Honeymoon Phase Won't Last Forever"
Do you and your spouse remember hearing this as newlyweds?
Or was it just us?
Once we were married, it seemed like people couldn't wait to share their insights about how our marriage would play out, like they had a crystal ball and knew something about our future we didn't.
And let me tell ya, the life they predicted didn't sound anything like what we signed up for.
They would lean in, with a low tone, and share things like...
"Life might be exciting now, but just you wait"
Or…
“You guys might be getting along now, but just you wait"
Wait for what?
What were we waiting for?
When would this mysterious shift in our relationship take place?
Or would it happen at all?
In this episode I’ll be sharing how our relationship evolved over twenty years as a married couple, and how dancing waltzed into our lives and strengthened our marriage in ways we could’ve never imagined.
And if you've been following along, this is the second episode, of a three-part series, that will give you a better idea of who I am, what Rich and I are all about, and our twenty year journey of dancing through marriage.
Life As Newlyweds Was Great, But We Wanted More For Our Marriage
When Rich and I were married, all I knew is that I didn't want to lose our zest for life, and our sense of fun and adventure.
But eventually, I did notice that we started to fall into this repetitive rhythm.
Everyday started to look the same…
We would wake up, go to work, come home, cook dinner, watch tv, and go to sleep.
And again the next day; wake, work, home, dinner, tv, sleep.
At first, it felt nice, like we were getting comfortable and settled into our marriage.
But it got old quickly, and started to feel dull and boring.
It made us feel like we wanted more for our marriage, and made us ask ourselves, "now what, what's next?"
I should mention, typically Rich and I love being home, snuggled up in our sweats, watching a good movie. But…
Everyone needs some variety now and then, or the comfort of being home loses its appeal.
And when we started to feel this happening, we knew…
We needed to find some way to shake things up.
Something that would keep us on our toes, and prevent that less-than-desirable future we had been warned about.
We didn't know how we would do that, until one moment changed everything.
And that was…
The Moment That Inspired Us To Dance.
A couple years into our marriage, Rich and I found ourselves on vacation at one of the most romantic places in our home state of Michigan; the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island.
There are no cars allowed on this island, so once you arrive by boat, the only way to get to your room is by walking, biking or taking the island’s version of Uber, which is by horse and carriage.
The Grand is a fancy hotel with a very unique look that instantly takes you back in time.
And it seemed like everywhere we turned, the hotel was filled with beautiful live music; from a harpist in the main lobby and a jazz quartet in the dining room, to a big band orchestra in the ballroom.
After dinner, I remember walking by the ballroom and the upbeat tempo drawing us in like kids in a candy store.
It was clearly where the party was at, so we walked in, took a seat, and were mesmerized by what we saw on the dance floor.
It was packed with couples, dancing their hearts out and having the time of their lives.
I remember one couple in particular.
This couple moved gracefully and effortlessly, like they were perfectly in sync and floating on a cloud.
But it wasn't so much their moves that grabbed my attention.
It was the interaction between the two of them, the genuine happiness on their faces, the connection they shared, and how they were completely focused on each other.
They were in the moment, enjoying life, enjoying each other, and dancing like no one else was in the room.
It made me happy just watching them, and I knew right then and there that dancing was something I wanted for Rich and I.
I was hooked, and I could tell that Rich's interest was cautiously piqued, so I did what any loving wife would do. I gave him a little nudge by signing us up for a dance class when we got home.
I knew, if the class was already paid for, he would give it a shot.
We were nervous walking into that first class, but once it got started, Rich admitted that he was actually having fun...and so was I.
And from then on dancing swept us off our feet, and improved our marriage in the best ways possible.
Dancing Added Excitement To Our Marriage And Helped Us Shake Up The Repetitive Rut We Fell Into While Living Everyday Life.
Before we started dancing together, it felt like we were living the same day over and over again…
Wake up, go to work, come home, make dinner, watch tv, go to sleep.
But after we started dancing together, our life had a newness about it, that felt exciting.
Dance lessons turned into late nights, dancing in our kitchen…
Dancing in our kitchen, led to going out on the town, dancing the night away…
Going out dancing, led to joining a traveling dance team where we had the time of our lives performing in front of an audience...
And performing, led to competing as a couple in national competitions.
Dancing pushed us out of our comfort zone, helped us face our fears, and become, not only more confident dancers, but a more confident couple.
And if that wasn't enough, a bigger transformation was happening in our relationship as well...
Dancing Brought Us Closer In Our Marriage And Deepened Our Bond In A Way We Had Never Experienced Before.
At the time, Rich and I didn’t think we could be any closer as a couple, but dancing proved us wrong.
When we first met, we had an instant connection. But when we danced, it felt like that connection was on another level.
It was exhilarating, like we were firing on all cylinders, and in sync with our mind, body and soul.
We weren't thinking about our jobs, responsibilities, or what was going on in the world.
Rich would lead, I would follow, and we were completely focused on each other.
It was spontaneous, fun, and we loved it so much that we started teaching it to others.
And, when one of our students told us "dancing is better than marriage counseling" we realized other couples were experiencing the benefits in their marriage as well.
Dancing Helped Us Avoid Growing Apart, Enjoy Growing In Love, And Strengthened Our Marriage In A Fun Way.
Just like any married couple, Rich and I have faced our fair share of challenges, but dancing has given us a break from those challenges, so we can focus on each other, nurture our relationship, and give each other the undivided attention we deserve.
Dancing has helped us (and continues to help us)…
strengthen our bond and connection as a couple
regain emotional intimacy and physical affection
enjoy a fun social life with other couples
make unforgettable memories together
and bring more joy into our relationship, than any other activity
It’s one of the best decisions we’ve made for our marriage.
And it replaced that feeling of “now what, what’s next?” that we felt in the beginning of our marriage, with a sense of adventure and excitement.
As for the people that warned us that the honeymoon phase wouldn't last?
Well, their prediction must have been way off, because we've been married for over twenty happy years now.
And even though every day doesn't feel like a honeymoon…
We can still jump right back into all the feels we felt as newlyweds, by turning on our favorite tunes and moving to the music in each other's arms.
It's a simple concept with a powerful effect, that will help you and your spouse enjoy your marriage and relationship to the fullest.
Coming up…
In the next episode I'll be sharing four simple steps that you and your spouse can take from home, to start dancing your way to a more fun and fulfilling marriage...yes, even if you've never danced before.
Thanks for listening to our Dancing Through Marriage journey, and I'll see you in the next episode!